HIGHLIGHTS | AFC Richmond v Watford

The Grey Hounds squared off against Watford on Saturday and…  hold on, they won? Admittedly I blacked out after the intra-squad fight. (Again, have some dignity and throw an actual punch for fuck’s sake.)

After going 2-0 down early in the first half thanks to some truly appalling defending from the “legend” Roy Kent, Tartt scored two to equalize just before the half – and his benching. The first was a beautiful solo run up the middle, beating multiple defenders before smashing one in. The second was a rather stunning curler of a free kick from just out the box after Obisanya drew the foul.

The second half was surprisingly level, and you have to wonder if the Man City loanee is hurting more than he helps. In the dying the minutes of the game, a bit of combo play in the midfield sprung THE LEGEND Roy Kent free into Watford’s box. He drew the keeper in before playing a sitter across to a wide open Obisanya for the game winner.

It’s anyone guess what happens from here with Tartt, but the rest of the side was clearly invigorated by his departure. With the January transfer window ahead, there may actually be a reason for optimism. Hell, I might even write a real piece about it.

Check out the highlights and rejoice!

Live from the Dog Track, where pretty boys go to die.

HIGHLIGHTS | AFC Richmond v Tedlassoisawanker

Ted Lasso is a wanker. Thankfully all footage from today’s match has already been stricken from the internet. Is it too late to bring back Old George What’s-his-name?

I mean what in the fuck was that even? What happens inside the walls of Nelson Road stays inside Nelson Road, but some things are just too funny not share and it’s clear now that I’m never going to get fired so here it goes. Jamie and Roy got in the most comically bitchy little forehead fight in the locker room at halftime. It’s amazing no one threw a slap. Fucking hilarious.

Where I come from, the locker room is the one place where it’s totally safe to throw a punch. I’ve seen more dudes choked in a locker room than on Porn Hub. Leave it on the field when you play other teams. Leave it in the dressing room when it’s a teammate, then go have a beer when you’re done. At least they got it out of their system. Maybe they’ll start getting stuck in out there now. I’d give my left nut to see one of these guys finally put two studs through someone’s shins.

Live from Nelson Road, put some respect on the game.

HIGHLIGHTS | AFC Richmond v Crystal Palace FC

AFC Richmond picked up their third consecutive loss today, their first under newly appointed manager Ted Lasso. Crystal Palace had the run of the action, apart from a solo consolation goal for Jamie Tartt, and are climbing the table as the Grey Hounds sink further toward the relegation zone.

Sorry, I just have to get something out quick –

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. My god what were they even doing out there? Am I crazy or did they form a wall along the flanks? They do know that other teams have midfielders, right?

Usually teams get a bit of a bounce with a new manager but wow that was shocking. The only real highlight came from the Palace side, with Zaha smashing an absolute cracker into the top corner of O’Brien’s net.

Check out the highlights and see for yourself. Or just pour bleach in your eyes, whatever feels less painful.

Live from the Dog Track. Woof.